38 Years

38 Years I’ve spent
Trying to prove something to you
Like a child skipping rope
“Look what I can do”

Haven’t been around you lately
Feels alright to me
I don’t miss it, I miss hoping
It’ll be… the way it’s supposed to be

I know I can’t hate you,
Because I know that I love you
And it’s not what you put me through
It’s what you put yourself through

It’s been 38 Years, but at 13
I was singing your tapes
Remember, you left them years ago
Just before you took off with the stereo

But It was yours, we were yours
I sang your tapes in my room
I sang “Needle and the damage done”,
Didn’t even know what you were on

I’m not mad about that though
I forgave you 20 years ago
Don’t you realize, I saw you baptized
We stood in the church aisle, hugged and cried a while

38 years now, I’m over the past
And you keep talking about the past
But I’ve got a family, 3 kids now
Thought you’d be proud, but you don’t know how

And we’re happy, And I’m happy
So I’ll love you from here… for now
And That’ll just have to do,
Because 38 Years didn’t fill the void for you

Published by Reeny

Writing something once in a while

4 thoughts on “38 Years

  1. Reeny, 38 years is a long time. Your lives are forever connected by your children. Your lovely and relatable poem expresses how you have made peace with yourself and are going forward. My first marriage lasted 18 years before it ended amicably, and we had one child. Your words felt uncannily familiar. ❤ All the best!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Cheryl thank you for responding, this poem is actually me talking to my father, I am turning 38 years old this summer. I really appreciate you reading and responding:) but yes it is all about moving forward, realizing I can’t make him happy the way I thought I could all these years.

      Like

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